A Week Without You

9th Day

It has been more than a week since the day you told me that you no longer love me. With that week i'm in total shit. I still message you, I still talk to you, I still miss you.

There are nights when i cant help but cry and i wonder why you have to leave me? Why did it have to end so soon? 

Tell me, Where did i go wrong? What did i do to make you change your mind? But if this love's not ours to have, I'll let it go with your goodbye...

I'm still hurting, even though I'm not crying anymore. I still miss you... All those stuff I told you, that i will stop and will forget about you and will move on with my life without you are all just lies. 

I still can't stop from loving you, from missing you, from wanting to see you, hug you and kiss you. I Just don't know how to stop. I just can't stop.

I was afraid this time would come, I wasn't prepared to face this kind of hurting from within. I have learned to live my life beside you and now you are gone....

I want to hate you, I want to hate you for letting me love you so deeply, for letting me fall deeply in love with you But I can't teach myself to do so. And there you are, just one day you woke up and doesn't feel the same way. I need you to tell me on how to do that? On how to just stop loving you. 

Unfortunately, I still keep praying for both of us though, for you to come back and love me again. That what you are feeling now is just a for a while and you will realized that you've lost the big part of yourself and that is me, that you will realized how much you love me after I'm gone - I know, I should stop this stupidity, this false hope, my own monster I am creating.

Stupid yes, but I really hope that if that time come, I am still there for you. Because I will not going to wait for your forever :'(

So now, Maybe I'll just dream of you tonight and if into my dream you'll come and touch me once again. I'll just keep on dreaming till my heartaches end... (T_T)