Note to Myself..

I am sad. And I don't know how to start. The fact that you know that impending doom is coming, makes me feel so edgy.

I want to cry, my heart beats erratically, in not so normal way. I do ask myself, is it really me? The difference of 2 people will not going to make it work at all. I am white you are black and if combine together blunt gray color will come out. I thought the differences spice up the relationship, it's just how you will gonna handle it.. Is it no?

What will happen to a couple being together..., perfectly together? Will they get bored with each other? Or will they be happy forever? Is there such thing as perfectly together?

I am not perfect. I have a lot of ups and down, looking back I can say that things are not perfect in my life. As much as you want to make it close to perfect, it's just doesn't feel right. I am hurting, hurting to the point of not thinking too well. Is this right or that is wrong? Should I go left or should I go right?

It's terrible to lose someone you love so deeply, but come to think of it, it's even worse to lose ourselves while loving them.

I feel like I'm hugging a cactus, the tighter I hold on, the more it hurts.
People say never give up, but sometimes giving up is the best option because you will eventually realize you're just wasting your time.

I need to do this.. I need to Respect myself, to love myself, enough to walk away from anything that no longer serves me or makes me happy.